You’re the shoes that never fit me.
The lovely dress that didn’t suit me
But not my perfect match.
First love is not the best nor the greatest but it is the first thing you remember. It is your first pain.
He is the first guy who makes your heart flutter, makes your mind cluttered and makes you stutter. He is the shoes that you like that never fitted you, the lovely dress that never suited you, the perfect being not perfect for an ordinary girl. Yet you dream of the possibility of being with him, of being with someone who is your true contradiction. You continue with your senseless daydreams until it looks like reality. But it is never a reality. He chose someone else instead, a beautiful and sophisticated lady-his perfect match, your exact opposite.
That is when he makes you cry yourself to sleep. You have him in your dream and you wake up in the wee hours of the morning with tears in your eyes once again, thinking of the nightmare. It is one of your darkest hours when you forget on how it feels like to have a good laugh or a happy disposition in life. Friends and food comforted you but it didn’t bandage the wound that he had caused. Even words of encouragement nor distracting activities didn’t take away the pain and the heartbreak he unconsciously inflicted on you.
Today, quotes of love and songs didn’t have the same effect on you. Before when you hear tales of love, you get teary-eyed. At times, you can relate. Now, you feel nothing. Guys are not as impressive as before. All the little wounds turned into loathsome scars. The ache was instilled in your heart that it made you numb.
How would you change it?
Should you feel the bliss again?
What if you get hurt once more?
Looking back, it still stings a little. You remember everything as if it only transpired yesterday. You still think about him more than you would care to admit. Whether you like it or not, when you started to care you will care for the rest of your life. Feelings fade, yes. But it will never ever die.
How about you?
Have you experienced one-sided love? How did you deal with it?